Awkward
by appositive
Summary: Two sets of 10 awkward moments in the Ouran High School Host Club.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, guys." Tamaki walked up to the twins, trying to play it cool.

"Hey, boss," the Hitachiin brothers cautiously stated in unison.

"Um, I have an…awkward…question for you…"

"Shoot." Hikaru was really thinking, "Shoot me," but he tried not to let it show. Oh, how he hated Tamaki's questions.

"Do you guys ever…sleep together?"

"Like, in the same bed?" Kaoru repeated slowly for the idiot. "Of course we do. We're _twins_. We tight."

"No, I…" Tamaki had already been blushing, but now he blushed deeper. "I mean…like, _sleep together_."

Silence fell upon the room. The twins glanced at each other, shrugged, then answered together. "Of course we do."

"We _tight_." Kaoru emphasized.

"Oh." Tamaki let out the breath he had apparently been holding in. "Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks he's so good-looking that he _masturbates_."

* * *

><p>"Kyo-chan! Hey, Kyo-chan!" Hunny bounced up to the younger boy. "Read me a story!"<p>

Kyōya sighed. "Do you have a book for me to read?"

"No, silly! _You_ have the book!"

"Excuse me?"

"Read me a story from that black book you always carry around!"

"Yes, well, ahem, that is highly confidential. And believe you me, I do not write mere _stories_ –"

"I know!" Hunny bounced higher. "I read over your shoulder. You write fanfictions!"

Kyōya was taken aback. "_You_ know how to _read_? !"

"Yup! But today I don't want to read! I want you to read _for_ me!"

Kyōya sighed in defeat, due to Hunny's adorable pout-face. No one can resist the pout-face. "Once upon a time…"

A half-hour later, Kyōya read the story's end to a bawling Hunny. "And so, they all died, except for Kyōya and Tamaki, who got married. The end!" The raven-haired boy cracked an evil smile.

"That was the saddest story ever!" Hunny cried. He had really not wanted to know so much about the other boy. That he was so very evil and that he...liked Tamaki.

"Yes, well, that's why you don't read from my black book." Kyōya's glasses glinted.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Mommy! Hey! Hey! Hey, Mommy!"<p>

Sigh. "_Yes_, Tamaki."

"I heard you write a mean fanfiction!"

"Well, you must have heard some false information."

"Aw, come on, read me one! What about the one you just read Hunny?"

"What? ! No!" Kyōya's whole face turned tomato red.

"Aw, come _on_! Do you like Hunny more than you like me or something? !" He proceeded to grumble something unintelligible about "best friends" and "betrayal."

"No! That's not it at all! I don't know where you get these things from."

"Then give it!" Tamaki and Kyōya wound up in a tug-of-war over Kyōya's precious notebook. The competition ended in a draw, and the book fell to the ground, out of either of their grasps. However, Tamaki was quicker than Kyōya in picking the book back up. He just managed to read a paragraph before Kyōya snatched the book out of his iron-strong grip.

"Uh, Kyōya?"

The boy in question turned his head away to hide his crimson cheeks. "…Yes?"

"Why did you write about making out with me?"

* * *

><p>It was doctor check-up day, and Kyōya accompanied Tamaki to his monthly appointment. This was due to the fact that the doctor's was just one of many stops planned for the boys that day.<p>

"Do you do drugs?" the doctor droned.

"No," Tamaki responded, equally bored.

"Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Are you sexually active?"

Suddenly, Tamaki was very aware of Kyōya's intent gaze burning into the back of his neck. And he wished he could be anywhere but there.

"Are you sexually active?" the doctor repeated, making Tamaki's nerves worse. Neither he nor Kyōya dared to breathe.

"...Yes," Tamaki finally confessed in a small voice. Oh, this was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>Renge had a crush on who was, in her opinion, the cutest boy in the world: Haruhi Fujioka. And she would not stop until she had him.<p>

As a result, two weeks later, Renge and Haruhi started dating. They were perfect for each other, and their relationship progressed far faster than is healthy. In fact, after only three months, the couple was already on second base.

And Renge still didn't suspect a thing about Haruhi's gender. Burn, Haruhi. Burn.

* * *

><p>All thought left Haruhi's mind as she made out with her beautiful, lovely girlfriend. They were so caught up in their kiss that reality no longer mattered. In fact, the kiss was so passionate that Renge started unbuttoning Haruhi's shirt. Haruhi did likewise to Renge. Pants were the next to go.<p>

Then, Renge looked down.

And screamed.

How awkward.

* * *

><p>"Takashi!"<p>

"Yes, Mitsukuni?"

"Wah! I'm bleeding!"

Mori's usually stoic face reflected concern. "Where?" In his head, he added, 'I'll kiss it and make it better.'

"In the toilet! There's blood in the toilet!"

All the blood drained from Mori's face. "…" Hunny had a _lot_ of explaining to do.

* * *

><p>It was Nekozawa's favorite time of day. It came right after black magic club time, but before going home time. It was: special Beelzenef time. "Oh, Beelzenef," he murmured softly, "You're the cat for me. The one and only cat for me." He pulled the puppet closer.<p>

Beelzenef _meow_ed in response. Except, only Nekozawa heard it, for some reason… I wonder why…

Just as the two love-cats leaned in for the kiss, the club room's dark door opened. "Hello? Nekozawa? I need to borrow a spell for –"

Kaoru took in the scene around him. Nekazawa was first basing it with a puppet. Oh, great. Kaoru walked in on _that_…again.

* * *

><p><em>Dear diary,<em>

_Today Tamaki saw my black fanfiction book! :o I think he saw the page when Sir Kyōya saves Princess Tamaki, and they kiss. I wonder if that gives him any ideas…? B) Tamaki is the love of my life. He's so handsome, and pretty, and strong, and happy, and gorgeous, and talented, and beautiful, and optimistic, and pretty. He must be the one true love of my life._

_XOXO Kyōya B)_

Kyōya was suddenly aware of the head hovering over his shoulder.

"You are so dead," Fuyumi laughed.

* * *

><p>It was a manly sleepover for the two best of friends. Kyōya and Tamaki partook in events such as truth or dare and rating the girls in their class. Finally, Tamaki made a suggestion that nearly gave Kyōya a heart attack.<p>

"I know!" the dumb blond exclaimed. "We'll practice our kissing!"

"Tamaki," Kyōya objected, "That's not something straight boys do."

"It's just practice. It's not like we actually have feelings for each other or anything. Yeesh, Kyōya, lighten up."

"Right. Don't have…feelings for each other. …Yeah."

And so, Fuyumi found the boys sprawled out on Kyōya's bed, making out. She quickly shook off the awkward. She had a mission.

"Uh, Tamaki?"

"Mmm-hmm?" He didn't even bother to break the kiss.

"You do realize that Kyōya likes you, right?"

Tamaki froze. "You are so dead," Kyōya muttered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Please review! If I get fifteen reviews, or five requests to make another chapter, you guys will get 10 more awkward moments!


	2. Chapter 2

Haruhi was taking a leisurely stroll down the street to the local commoner bookstore. Once there, she perused the encyclopedia section, being the nerd that she was. On her way to the cash-register – yes! She could finally afford the "F" section of the encyclopedia set! – she had to walk through the manga section. There, she encountered a strange sight.

"Tamaki-sempai," the brunette stated with as little emphasis as possible, "What are _you_ doing _here_." It was a statement, not a question.

"H-h-haruhi…" the older boy stuttered in horror. "L-l-look at this…!"

Haruhi peered over the blonde's shoulder at the manga he was currently so deeply involved in. On the pages, a crude depiction of the two of them was shown, dressed in a wedding dress and a tuxedo. Haruhi wrinkled her nose in disgust, muttering, "What are you reading?" under her breath.

"Ouran High School Host Club," Tamaki replied, throat dry, "the manga!"

* * *

><p>"I wanna play kick the can!" Kasanoda complained. "It's all I want in life!"<p>

The twins sneaked up behind him, extending an arm around each of his shoulders. "We can help with that…," Kaoru cooed, sipping an aluminum can dry.

"Uh, you do know that's prune juice, right?" Kasanoda looked concerned, as the twin had pretty much chugged the contents.

"Oh, shhhhhhh-" The younger twin was off and running in the direction of the bathroom before you could say "bossa nova."

* * *

><p>"Sooo, looks like it's just you and me, big boy," Hikaru purred, running one finger under Kasanoda's chin. In response, the "big boy" started sweating.<p>

"I-I just wanna play kick the can is all…"

"How about something a little more…fun?" Hikaru suggested, tossing the prune juice can in the air and then catching it. "Why don't we play…spin the can?"

"Uhhh…I like cans. Why not?" Kasanoda responded. "How do you play?"

"I'll go first," the older twin offered, loving every second of this prank. He proceeded to spin the prune juice can. It landed in front of himself. "Oh, uh, this is awkward."

So Hikaru wrapped his arms around himself and started making out with none other than...Hikaru Hitachiin. Himself.

"Um, sorry to interrupt, but…when's my turn?" Kasanoda interjected foolishly.

Hikaru wiped the saliva off of his lips. "Whenever you want it to be," he grinned.

* * *

><p>Kaoru finally, <em>finally<em>, FINALLY walked out of the men's room. As he turned the corner to be reunited with his brother, he was greeted with a mirror image of himself making out with Kasanoda, who was desperately clutching the can.

Kaoru responded by turning around and walking up to a nearby wall. As he banged his head against the wall repeatedly, he muttered, "Always! Always! Always!"

* * *

><p>Kyōya sighed. He had finished his accounting for the day, and was officially bored. He had forgotten both his fanfiction journal and his casual reading book at home. So, he had to make his own…entertainment.<p>

The only thing he had left to do was to pick the target of his devious "fun-making." Tamaki was off the list, since things had been rather awkward between them since their last sleepover. The twins were missing, off doing God only knows what. (Curse them for not bringing Kyōya his glorious money. Curse them!) Haruhi was giving Tamaki weird looks across the room, which the blond was returning, so Kyōya decided on her.

"Oh, Haruhi, my darling son," the raven-haired boy called out sarcastically in a monotone voice. Haruhi muttered something foul under her breath, apologized to her guests, then complied to her so-called mother's order.

"Yeah?" She looked rather peeved.

"Why do you and 'daddy' keep exchanging glances?"

"Because he found some weird manga that said we are destined to be married. Why do you keep staring at him longingly?"

"Because I wrote some weird fanfiction that said we are destined to be married…" Kyōya murmured.

"Wait – what? !"

"Oh my, did I say that out loud?"

Haruhi nodded.

"Well, darn."

* * *

><p>"Mitsukuni, we really need to talk…" That was an odd sentence to hear from Mori.<p>

"Yeah, Takashi, you still won't tell me why my butt was bleeding!"

Mori face-palmed. The girls were confused.

"His butt was bleeding?" one of the costumers pondered aloud.

"Yeah there was blood in the toi-mmmmmmmm!" Hunny's mouth was quickly covered with a strong, silent hand.

The girls huddled amongst themselves, discussing this new, interesting discovery. Mori shrugged and fed Hunny more of his cake until one of the girls broke free of the grouping. "We think you make an adorable couple. Tee hee."

"Huh?" Hunny managed through a mouthful of cake, "Takashi, what are they talking about?"

Another girl emerged and starting giggling. "Hee hee. We're talking about the two of you. You know, having sex."

And, as if that wasn't awkward enough, Hunny turned to Mori and asked innocently, "Takashi, what's sex?"

* * *

><p>"Why do you bother writing fanfiction about the two of you? Why don't you actually do something about it? Just, I don't know, walk up to him and kiss him or something."<p>

"Haruhi, do you know anything about romance? Anything at all?" Kyōya spoke through gritted teeth.

"I did have a girlfriend for a while."

"Yes, one who ran away screaming and had to be bribed to keep from spreading rumors about your gender."

"At least _I _had a girlfriend." Haruhi smirked.

"Just because I'm not interested in girls does not mean that I don't have a romantic history."

"So how many boyfriends have you had?"

Kyōya's whole face flushed red. "Haruhi, go back to hosting…"

* * *

><p>The host club was over for the day. The boys (and one girl) were cleaning up for the day when Tamaki cleared his throat and asked for everyone's attention.<p>

"Mmmhnnn. Guys, I have an announcement to make." All eyes turned on him, and the twins snickered a little. "I have kept a secret from you all. A secret about who I really am." He paused dramatically, and Kyōya rolled his eyes. "I – I mean, this is really hard for me, but…I'm going to come out of the closet." His face became bright red, and he was starting to get short of breath, so he stopped.

Seeing his best friend's struggle, Kyōya spoke up. "I, too, have something to say about myself. It involves taking bold steps out of a closet as well."

Tamaki shot Kyōya a grateful glance. He opened his mouth to speak, found that he couldn't, then closed his mouth again. The other boy resumed his speech.

"I, Kyōya Ootori, am gay."

"Yeah, and?" said Kaoru.

"We already knew that!" Hikaru commented.

* * *

><p>"Thanks, Kyōya! Now I don't feel so awkward about admitting that I'm a closet brony!"<p>

Kyōya's cheeks burned.

* * *

><p>Tamaki and Kyōya were having another sleepover, this time at Tamaki's mansion, so that meddlesome sisters could not ruin the night. The boys lay in a single queen-sized bed, even though a room with two beds could have been easily arranged. This is because of Tamaki's insistence and persistence.<p>

The friends were currently staring at the ceiling and talking.

"Hey, Kyōya?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really like me?"

"Of course I do. You're my best friend."

"No, I mean, like, as a boyfriend."

Kyōya's face flushed. "And what if I do?"

"Nothing."

Silence enveloped the boys, until Kyōya interrupted it.

"Tamaki?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you…er, have feelings for me?"

Silence.

"Yeah," Tamaki finally admitted. "I do…"

"But…what about… When we went to the doctor, you told her that you were sexually active. I took that to mean that you have a girlfriend."

"No, it's just that I…well, I masturbate." It was Tamaki's turn to blush. He turned his head to the side to avoid seeing Kyōya in his peripheral vision.

"That doesn't count as being sexually active, you idiot!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ** Yeah, I'm not going to write another chapter to this story. That was stressful and procrastination-inducing, and I'm not someone who usually procrastinates. So, the end. Fanfic over!


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